Why Is It Important To Learn To Say No?

In life, we must learn to be understanding and to adapt to others from time to time. We all need to be flexible. However, there are people who, for various reasons (such as lack of self-confidence and feeling that they are not worthy of love if they do not meet the expectations of others), give so much that they lose themselves. These people need to learn to say no.

While offering a helping hand and being generous with others is a good thing and gives you many benefits, it is also important to remember that you are your first priority. It’s okay to be flexible, but not to do everything to please others and put their needs before your own.

What are the consequences of not being able to say no?

If we do not set boundaries, we do not respect ourselves. It is as if we are invisible to ourselves, giving those around us the right to decide for ourselves. In fact, if we do not learn to say no, our self-esteem may suffer to the point where we feel lonely and doomed to fail.

Low self-esteem

Making others happy instead of doing what we really want can make us feel miserable. In fact, it comes to a point where we feel worthless, as if we are not good for anything. Little by little, our self-esteem becomes more and more fragile because of this.

Solitude

When we always do everything for others, we tend to ignore our true desires. Our focus is to please those around us instead of meeting our own needs, which leads to a deep feeling of inner loneliness.

We begin to think that no one loves us for who we are, but for what we can do for them. But the truth is, if that is the case, then our behavior is what drives these thoughts. Think about this: how will other people get to know your true self when you are just trying to satisfy their needs?

To fail

To please other people comes with a price: to set our own desires and ambitions aside. This makes us feel unsuccessful about what could have been, but did not happen. That is why it is so important to know our value and set boundaries when it comes to our flexibility.

How can we learn to say no?

When we learn to say no, we begin to set boundaries, take care of ourselves, and give ourselves the value we deserve. Although it may be difficult at first, do not lose any opportunity you have to express your true feelings. The following keys can help you achieve this:

Stop being afraid of criticism and learn to say no

No one will agree with everything you say or do. When you have this in mind, you will stop caring about being accepted by everyone around you, and you will begin to feel freer. Meet the fear of criticism and just be yourself. People have their own opinions and they should not affect your life.

Visualize yourself in different situations

If you know that it is difficult for you to say no, visualize yourself in a situation where you have no choice but to do so. If you know someone is going to ask for something, try to envision your future answer. You will feel much more relaxed when you have your possible answer in mind. However, it is important that you remember that things do not always go as we plan, so be prepared to be honest.

Do not explain yourself so much

You do not have to justify yourself when you say no. As you learn to say no, you begin to realize that the most important thing is to be honest, fair, and respectful of others. A simple “I just do not feel for it” is more than enough.

It is not uncommon for us to feel overwhelmed by our thoughts from time to time. For example: “What should I say?”, “What should be my excuse?”, Or “I can not just say no”. Our heads begin to spin and we begin to think about what will happen, which makes us feel uneasy.

But you do not have to think through this so much. It is true that sometimes you may have to explain why you say no. However, it is important that you do not feel bad about it. The only thing you get by rethinking things is to become anxious.

Start loving yourself

When the only thing we do is please people, we get used to doing things we would not even do for ourselves in the first place. Learn to love yourself, and you learn to say no. Start doing things you enjoy, instead of going out of your way to make others happy. Why take such good care of others when you do not even feel good about yourself?

Do not show that you are available all the time, learn to say no

If you make it seem like you are always available, people will take advantage of you. Do not be afraid to reject suggestions you do not like, or just say that you are busy at the moment. Another way you can get out of it is to not be aware of the demands of others. You do not have to say anything at all in response. Remember that being quiet is also a way to communicate. Sooner or later, they will realize that you will not always be there to satisfy them.

Love yourself: You do not need the approval of others

Remember that it is impossible to be the same of everyone. When you are aware of this, you will feel more relieved and you will not care about the opinions of others.

It is a popular quote by Christian Nestell Bovee who says: “Our first and last love is self-love”. Do not forget it! You are the most important person in your life, and if you do not take care of yourself, no one else will do it for you.