When Personalities Collide: Incompatibility

When personalities collide, it often leads to conflict and unrest. However, it is a fact of life that you are sometimes forced to share space with people you just do not get along with. This can happen at school, college or work, among other things. In fact, you will always end up meeting someone who seems to be your absolute opposite.

Is it bad luck? Not at all. Humans are so complex in their personality that it is almost inevitable that there will be occasional differences and irritations between them. The key is to learn to get along.

Sometimes these personality clashes do not just occur outside of your close circle of family and friends. Sometimes you can collide with a family member, a friend or even your partner. In fact, if this happens, you realize that you are actually incompatible with the person you are sharing your life with.

Why personalities collide

Carl Jung claimed that the cause of conflict in everyday life was the opposition between introverted and extroverted personality types. He could have been right. After all, you tend to know what kind of personality is really annoying you. Maybe there are some who are extremely outgoing. On the other hand, there may be some who are painfully shy.

But when their personalities collide, they do so for more reasons than a simple difference between their personality types. Researchers have studied this topic for several decades and are particularly interested in the topic in connection with the workplace. In fact, everyone knows that labor disputes often arise due to differences in personality. For this reason, various studies have been conducted on the subject. In fact, those published in the journal Nature by Dr. Kendall Powell are particularly informative.

Sometimes these disagreements can diminish careers, scientific advances, and even discoveries. In fact, a poor work environment can stifle your motivation, creativity and performance.

When personalities collide: The importance of respect

It seems that the theory of introverted and extroverted personalities is not so important when it comes to personality conflicts. Because, more important than differences between personalities, is the way you behave with others. It is the difference that matters.

For example, it does not matter how outgoing or reserved you are, or what your political or other opinions are. If you know how to treat people, you will rarely be in any conflict. In the same way, it does not matter if you have family members or colleagues with a completely different lifestyle than your own. Because as long as they know how to be with you and are receptive and respectful, there will be no friction.

Differences in values

If you collide with your partner and eventually tell them, “We’re just completely incompatible,” it’s more than just friction caused by the difference in their personalities. In fact , the main difference between you is your respective values.

However, there will never be much hope for the relationship if you both, after coming from completely opposite directions to begin with, continue to defend their own principles that are very likely to contradict each other. Furthermore, if neither of you is trying to understand the other.

When personalities collide due to conflicting personalities

You have probably experienced this. Sometimes you can work or share space with a person who is very different from you without any problems at all. On the other hand, it is completely different if you come across a personality with a high level of conflict. In cases like this, you are facing a person who deliberately seeks division and who actively encourages disagreement.

What can you do when you are different from another person?

Life would be wonderful if you could always make the most of personality differences. In fact, we are all individuals, and we can all offer others the chance to see things from a different perspective. Being different is actually not a problem. It is not accepting the difference that is causing a problem.

When personalities collide, it tends to happen because those affected have too many quirks. It happens when one person only accepts his own version of the truth and sees the other’s version as not even worth listening to. Naturally, this causes unbearable friction. To avoid situations like these, it is important to focus on certain aspects.

When personalities collide: You and I are incompatible. What can we do?

There comes a point where you may feel that you have reached the end of your fuse and can no longer endure with the other person. This can be at work, with family, friends or even your partner. What can you do?

The first thing you need to understand is that personality differences should not lead to conflict. You do not have to argue just because you think differently and have different values. It’s just accepting that it’s the way it is.

Howard Gardner, a psychologist and researcher at Harvard University , came up with the term “interpersonal intelligence”. This skill is worth developing because it helps you know how to behave when you collide with another person. First, however, you need to work out the inner psychodynamics. For example, ask yourself why you find the person so difficult to deal with. Why do they make you lose your temper and get angry, and why do they collide with you?

In situations where you are unable to keep your distance, for example at work, it is better to look for similarities than differences in the other person. After all, you can be incompatible in many ways, but this does not mean that you can not find something, as little as it may be, in common with them and be able to get along.