Love To Disarm And Humor To Soften
Many times we tend to get into heated quarrels with other people, we become defensive, stress too much about a single occasion, etc. And we gradually realize that maybe our attitude has not been quite right, and that we are the one who is left as the losing party.
Let us cite an example of this: There are couples who tend to criticize each other without ever coming to an agreement, because usually, when we “attack” or are attacked, we raise our barrier and try to defend ourselves. , so that our ego is not hurt.
But in reality, this is a big mistake. If I protect myself with the same weapon others attack me with, it will end in war. It’s not worth it, and it’s not going to lead to anything but a bad taste in your mouth and a bad situation.
Gandhi gives a very clear and radical example that using love is a powerful and disarming weapon. He achieved freedom for India from Britain without firing a single shot, without being aggressive, solely by using “Ahimsa”.
What is “Ahimsa”?
Ahimsa is a strategy to discover the love and the wonderful sides of the aggressive person.
It is about expressing love for the other person regardless of how they behave towards us. To remind them that they are a wonderful person, who inwardly is very good, and whom we love unconditionally, even though at the moment they are not acting in a good way by being very aggressive towards us.
Ahimsa is a weapon that works slowly, yet in an extremely powerful way. We must persevere in giving love until the other person begins to reflect on their behavior and begins to change.
We can practice this technique in our daily lives and witness the powerful effect that occurs. We will see that when we tear down the walls between ourselves and the other, the result is that the other person will start to treat us well.
If our partner, a friend or our family is very angry with us, and yells at us, criticizes us etc., the smartest thing you can do is avoid an absurd quarrel, but rather try to get close to them, embrace them or give give them a hug or a kiss.
They may reject us at first, but if we continue without being distracted by their words and attitude, we will be able to overcome them.
And what about humor?
On the other hand, the use of humor is a great buffer to any major controversy. Like love, humor also improves personal relationships and makes difficult periods in life much easier to endure.
A good sense of humor, makes us aware that nothing is so important. Most of the time, we make things seem worse than they are, and overdramatize events in our lives that make us feel bad.
It is true that there are circumstances where there is no room for humor, but they are a minority. Whenever possible, we must open our minds, be more flexible, and laugh at adversity.
Firstly; Adversity is inevitable and it will happen to all of us in the course of life. Second, because it is almost never as bad as it seems, it is almost always us who inflate these situations with our thoughts about them.
In addition to stimulating creativity and the search for solutions , humor allows us to de-stress, and helps to solve problematic situations and remove the blockages in our minds.
It sounds simple, but practicing humor and love in our lives often becomes a demanding task. The key is to hold it out long enough to make them a part of us. Then we will become loving people full of laughter and this will make our lives much easier.
