I Like Social Networks, Not Fake Virtual Lives

Social networks are no more than an alternative communication channel. They are used to share information and interact in a different way with people who are either far away or part of everyday life. It is a useful, dynamic tool that allows us to receive information in an instant. Social networks also show aspects of ourselves that would otherwise be complicated to share.

Sometimes social networks can drown us and sometimes they are funny. Other times, we wish we could disappear from them for a while without anyone noticing, and reappear on them in the same way. We do not always find the truth in them, but it happens in any communication medium or in any social interaction.

Social networks can be fun, useful and emotionally positive if you know how to use them, just like with other technological tools. However, there is a strong affective component in them. Everything related to social acceptance and validation we get from those who matter to us.

All of this can turn a social network into a showcase of lies. Virtual lives that have nothing to do with the real life of the individual behind the computer screen.

From fun to slavery, everything for a virtual image

Few of us know the line between portraying a nice image on social media and becoming a fake version of ourselves. While the desire to please people is somewhat logical and understandable, not knowing how to establish boundaries for what we do in a virtual medium can lead to emotional problems , identity problems and restlessness .

Here are some points that can serve as warning signs:

• Not establishing an appropriate privacy filter for friends, acquaintances and strangers. If we show all the same information, we are likely to expose too much of ourselves to a medium with endless connections between users, with all the risks this entails.
• To sacrifice our sincerity for a handful of “likes”. Many people post certain things, and become sad or feel devalued if they do not receive a certain amount of likes. Far from dealing with these feelings, many choose to become friends with an unknown number of strangers. Or never remove users with whom they have no relationship. Or many may even choose to share some conflicts due to the hope that one of their images will surpass what they consider  “popular” or “successful” . Be it a nicely prepared meal or a relaxing walk along the mountains, which receive likes, even if it is from people they do not even know, gives their self-confidence a big boost.

• To prove that you have many friends at all costs: You fill your photos with filters, smiling faces at the exaltation of friendship. We have all at some time put up this kind of picture, when we can not even endure the person standing next to us. Or when we actually had a really bad day. This is the “light” version, what we call “publishable” . But you can start arranging meetings or parties that do not appeal to you on a personal level just to seem like a socially active person. You may be in debt and still plan a trip just to show off your “active lifestyle” .

• The risk of what is explicit. Each of us is free to show the world the sentimental conditions we choose. But if you show off each of your perfect encounters, people might think it’s weird. These “perfect labels” will be translated into scenes from “Kramer vs. Kramer” in real life. Sharing a lie on a social network about your friends and family can make people distrust you. They may not take you seriously or may directly consider you one with a lack of self-confidence and character.
• Declarations of love and eternal friendship that are not accompanied by interest in your real life away from the computer. If two friends like each other, any medium is good enough to show it. But some people may feel drowned by receiving dozens of public declarations of friendship on social media, all in front of a large audience. But they can not count on that person when they really need them.

• Making your ex-partner jealous, even if you are with a new one you do not like or do not care about. Some people are desperate to show that they are ” the first to return to the hall” after a breakup. They do this by changing their relationship with other people. By always trying to take pictures to show their ex that they “won” .
• To simulate glory and joy when in reality you feel defeated.  To show that we are happy with our jobs, travels, children, friends and partners. Doing so can lead us to such a degree of hypocrisy that it involves not making important decisions. That’s why we keep the facade up.

We believe that maintaining a “perfect” virtual life will make certain people jealous. But the truth is that for them, your profile may be completely irrelevant. Keeping a farce going, no matter what we really want to change in our lives.

The emotional implications of a false virtual life

The less sincere you are in your virtual interactions, the more of a prisoner you become of them. You can post, comment and interact, but always try to do so so that your behavior on the internet reflects who you really are.

You may not get “200 likes ” every time, but you will like to receive loving comments from people you actually appreciate. People you have a bond with or who were special to you at some point in your life and remain so to this day. Even with the time and distance that lies between you.

And that’s why I like that my social networks are most similar to what I really enjoy. And I mean like, really like , without having to click on it. I want to keep certain things to myself. Even more, I do not like to chat friendly with people I do not even greet in real life.

I like social networking, but I do not like virtual falsehood. I’m not interested in being a leader. Instead, I am interested in maintaining my composure and my personality in the face of the tyranny of liking clicks . Some time ago I found them entertaining, today I simply do not like them. Like is just something to count, not a gesture of liking or enjoying.