How To Get Over The Bad Habit Of Feeling Offended

Some people may feel offended by everything. Who has not reacted disproportionately to something that was not important at least once? Why is this happening? What makes you go after the “enemy” who says things you do not like?

For some reason, people’s judgment is clouded under certain circumstances, and the most primitive and emotional brain takes over. You are aware that you have exaggerated your interpretation of facts if you think logically about it. Therefore, why can you not control yourself at a given moment?

The habit of feeling offended can cause a lot of pain. It makes you believe that others will only hurt you, humiliate you or underestimate you. Thus, you remain in a constant alert state. In addition, this extreme sensitivity affects your interpersonal relationships. It either makes them tense, breaks them or just makes them miserable for everyone involved. So what can you do about it?

To feel offended

Under no circumstances should you allow anyone to harm you or disrespect you. In fact, there are many situations where there really is an insult or aggression. Thus, it is logical and even healthy to become defensive and defend your integrity. However, there are many cases where a person does not intend to offend you. Thus, you need to learn when not to overreact.

Main factors

These variables may explain your hypersensitivity:

• Childhood injuries. Everyone experiences situations that leave traces in the first years of life. Lise Bourbeau describes five wounds in her work. This is why the memories and pain appear and magnify a given situation where someone touches a wound that has not healed. You are not really offended by what someone did or told you, they just awakened the old pain in your memory.

• Poor self-esteem. People who are easy to offend have low self-esteem. Their inner feelings of inferiority cause them to try to hide it in every way. Thus, their defensive and fragile self-esteem does not withstand an attack, even if it is not real. They would have been exposed otherwise.
• Rigidity. Characteristics such as cognitive flexibility or dichotomous thinking offend some people. Those who feel that others should be and act in a certain way, often interpret everything they do or say. They will be offended by a stupid joke when they think it is inappropriate to react with a sense of humor.
• Vane. Repetition of behavior or thought patterns only increases the likelihood of it being repeated again. Repetition strengthens the associated neural connections, and certain reactions become automatic. Thus, being offended may already be ingrained in some people, and it is difficult for them to find other cognitive ways to interpret information.

How to stop feeling offended

The most important thing to understand is that no one can offend you unless you give them permission to do so. This is because you can not control how others talk or behave. Thus, you only have control over the way you react. Therefore, do not jump into their throats and basically be selective in what you find offensive.

It is obvious that some attacks are clearly intentional and even harmful. Still, be assertive and defend respect for your rights. Get away from that relationship if you have to, but not before analyzing the truth of your interpretation. Do your best to perceive what is happening through a different lens than the wounds and defects.

Get out of the habit of feeling offended, get used to looking for and use other cognitive pathways. Do not take assumptions and ask questions instead. Often the sensitivity leads you to expect the worst and see negative intentions where there are none.

Be more flexible about how you interpret what others say or do during the interaction with you to avoid conflicts. It will improve your interpersonal relationships and even your mental health. Try it! Peace of mind is always healthier than being right.