“Forgive Me “: Magic Words That Can Transform Relationships

“Forgive me” is not just any phrase. In fact, it is the magic ingredient that makes all conditions work well. Gandhi used to say that forgiveness is a sign of strength. This is because saying these words out loud requires a great deal of courage and humility, as well as a strong character. With these words, you publicly admit that you have made a mistake, or committed some form of violation.

The truth is, unfortunately, that we often have serious shortcomings in this area. We often relate the practice of forgiveness to more serious situations. Situations where we must give the other word of forgiveness to close wounds and make it easier to begin a new chapter and move on. Knowing how to ask for forgiveness is something we should include in our daily lives more often.

I’m sorry…

• Because I did not do what I promised.
• Because I forced you to do something you were not capable of.
• Because I answered rudely.
• Because I never call when you need me the most.

These are undoubtedly just a few examples of situations where we need to know how to use the magic words “forgive me”. The psychology of forgiveness tells us that this action is the cornerstone of human relationships, and as such we should have a better understanding of how we can use it to a greater, and better, degree.

The power of the words “forgive me”

Misunderstandings are difficult to avoid, and they often occur daily in our social interactions. Sometimes you will misunderstand information you have been told by others, and other times you will make wrong assessments. Other times, you will even hurt the people you care about the most, without meaning to. You assume there is no problem and that they would not be so offended if they really appreciated their friendship. But still they are offended (often with good reason), and it all ends with bad feelings and disappointment for all involved.

We can give hundreds of examples of common situations where small disagreements arise. And what is perhaps worse is that the small problems that arise can often accumulate and become something much bigger. This can happen if they are not handled properly. When you are careless in your relationships with others, trust and love will begin to fade and may disappear completely.

A little “forgive me” at the right time can save friendships, relationships, marriages and even our relationship with our children and the respect they have for us. However, there are people who simply do not know how to use these small, but powerful, words. Even worse are the people who prefer to give bad explanations and irrelevant reasons instead of saying “I’m sorry”. Many of them will behave in this way because they believe that asking for forgiveness is synonymous with weakness. They look down on you and prefer an excuse. In that way, they can justify the neglect, violations, and mistakes they have made.

The psychology of forgiveness

In psychology, it is common to talk about the need to forgive. You know very well that it is not at all an easy thing to offer forgiveness to someone who has hurt you. One aspect you may not have considered is how difficult it is for others to swallow their pride and ask for forgiveness.

It is a difficult step to take, as you must have the capacity to feel empathy, acknowledge the damage you have caused, have the courage to take the step, and most importantly, have the necessary social skills to do it right.

You should also keep in mind that a quick “I’m sorry” is not much help if the person in question does not change their behavior and attitude. Let’s look at an example.

A father apologizes to his son for not keeping his promise. The child can accept the father’s apology. However, if these promises are broken again and again, the father’s apologies and desires for forgiveness lose their significance. It turns into hot air, just empty words. In addition to courage and responsibility, you must therefore take measures to redress the damage you have caused.

What can we do about those people who do not have the capacity to say ‘forgive me’?

You may have met people who can not say “I’m sorry”, or “forgive me”. We continue to hope that one day they will be able to put their pride aside. Instead, it may seem that they are becoming more and more arrogant. Sometimes it can actually go so far that they try to convince us that it was actually our fault. If it does not work, they can claim that what happened is not really important.

So, what can we do when faced with these types of situations? The first thing we can do is try to understand why these people behave this way. In fact, those who stubbornly refuse to ask for forgiveness are actually trying to protect their self-esteem. They have a conflict with the image they are trying to project, if they assume that asking for forgiveness is synonymous with weakness and fallibility. They believe that asking for forgiveness will cause others to lose confidence in them.

Forgiveness must come from the heart

As you can see, it is not easy to live with someone who believes that admitting that one has made a mistake is an admission of weakness. If this persists, and their lack of emotional intelligence is not resolved, you will live in a state of constant frustration and suffering. Living with someone who replaces “I’m sorry” with an excuse is not a healthy way to live.

On the other hand, we can not force anyone to ask for forgiveness. It is something that must come from them even if it is to have any significance. They must themselves want to repair and overcome the damage that has been done.

Knowing how to ask for forgiveness is something that should be learned from childhood. After all, there are few sentences that are equally relevant in our everyday lives.