Admiration And Love: What’s The Difference?

The line that separates admiration and love is very subtle. So subtle, in fact, that it is quite common to confuse these feelings with each other. This is relatively common because these emotions consist of a complex dynamic. We can admire someone without loving them, but we cannot love someone when we do not admire them at the same time.

It becomes even more complicated if we think about how falling in love gives a certain idealization of the person we love. In the first phase of the relationship, admiration and love are almost the same. But over time, a feeling begins to prevail. Finally, our mind and heart decide what we should feel for that person.

Physical beauty, for example, is something that can arouse admiration and desire. These feelings can be very intense. So intense, in fact, that we sometimes confuse these feelings with love. The same goes for other elaborate virtues such as fame or power. They generate so much admiration that we end up mixing these feelings with love.

Admiration and love

Somehow, when there is love, there is also admiration. In this way, admiration and love go hand in hand. However, the same does not happen when we reverse the two. That is, you do not have to love someone to admire them.

The complexity of this logic comes because people are very capable of idealizing others, especially when they respond to our expectations or needs in some way. The relationship between admiration and love also becomes more complicated because the desire to be loved sometimes takes control.

When we talk about idealization, we are talking about how we assign virtues to people they do not have. This also happens when we exaggerate the qualities they have. This happens a lot in the infatuation stage. We do not know the other person very well, and we see them through a filter. We want them to be amazing. In such cases, there is both admiration and love. However, both have weak foundations because much of that love is based on expectations and fantasies.

On the other hand , many want to be loved by the most popular, most attractive or the most powerful person in the room. The admiration that these people receive increases with their social “status”. Therefore, admiration from someone like this is something we deeply desire and easily confuse with love.

Admiration and self-confidence: Idealization

It is common for people with low self-esteem to idealize love. They “fall in love” with people they see as above average. In this way, the supposed feeling of love comes from admiration. Ultimately, it is what they seek to restore the self-love they lack. They want approval and are loved by someone they consider powerful or important.

In our culture, there are also a certain number of stereotypes about what we should and should not admire. In “commercial” relationships, someone who is admirable is someone who fits the ideals that our society has put into play. This is a person who fits the standards of society. They can be beautiful, athletic, wealthy and self-determined.

Therefore , many who are eager for acceptance will look for these qualities in a potential partner. Doing so is a way for them to feel included, thus wasting the spirit of rejection. However, there is no admiration or love in these relationships. The only thing present is very low self-esteem and self-confidence.

Healthy admiration and healthy love

True love is not so much about arousing love in the other person as it is about giving to the good of the other person. It is not a “dazzling feeling” and it does not appear only overnight. It includes getting to know the other person and accepting and admiring them. In this case, admiration comes from knowledge and acquaintance.

Admiration exists when it comes to love because it is impossible to deepen it in the relationship. We become more invested in our partner as we discover their more qualities and talents, many of which we did not see or understand at first. Discovering positive things about our partner makes us happy and allows us to see them in a new way. We have no interest in using their capabilities for our gain. Rather, we love them simply because they represent these qualities.

Meanwhile, admiration without love is the fruit of reflection. Admiration involves how we value different values, abilities or qualities that we consider valuable. We admire an artist for their talent or a leader for their firmness or a teacher for their wisdom. None of this implies love in the romantic sense of the word. Therefore, it is entirely possible to admire someone without loving them, but not the other way around.