Being Happy On Behalf Of Others Can Also Make You Happy

Being happy on behalf of others is a selfless act that can say a lot about you. What’s even better is that this kind of personal focus and real desire for others to feel good can make you happier. However, you may come across people who say that “I want you to be happy, but not happier than me”. This goes against what the interpersonal relationship is actually about.

You have probably had similar experiences. For example, you may have gone to someone you love to tell them some good news, to share something good that has happened to you. At that very moment, you have probably felt a little tension, falsehood, or unrest which means that something is not quite right in their relationship. It is a kind of lack of harmony between emotions and reciprocity.

Feeling annoyed at the happiness of others may indicate something darker than just envy. Sometimes it feels like a blow to your self-esteem. It can also feel like others are succeeding and reaching their goals while you are stuck in your insecurities. It is not so easy to feel happy on behalf of others when you yourself are in deep frustration.

Being happy on behalf of others and being happy with what they have achieved  can give you a sense of well-being. It has nothing to do with ethics, morality or religion. In fact, it is a valid and interesting psychological basis that science can explain.

Being happy on behalf of others is selflessness for a healthy heart

Earlier this year, Iowa State University published an interesting study. Dr. Douglas A. Gentile and his team at the Department of Psychology selected a group of people who had been diagnosed with anxiety and stress. For several days they taught them a simple technique that proved to give very good results.

What they did was something as simple as walking for 15 to 20 minutes every day. While doing this, they had to practice kinhin , which is to meditate while walking, running, or just exercising in general. Similarly, while patients were out and about, psychologists asked them to experience kindness, calm, and well-being.

To experience it, they were asked to  wish the people they met on the trip well. In this way, it made them have to do something as simple as project and wish well-being and positivity for someone else, even themselves happy. They had less worries and obsessive thoughts. Their inner peace and the fact that they focused on devotion gave them comfort and satisfaction.

Have cleaner thoughts focused on kindness

Dr. Gentile proved three things during this experiment. First and foremost, he proved that  stress and anxiety levels were significantly lower,  and not just because the participants exercised. It meant changing their inner dialogue and, all in all, their emotional focus. This changed from inner negativity to stimulating the mind to project kindness towards others.

During their walks, being happy on behalf of others, even if they were complete strangers, increased both their empathy and their sense of social cohesion. Suddenly, they actually noticed more people’s faces, and they were more open to the outside world, and more specifically, the people in it.

Being happy on behalf of others sets us free

Some actions, words or thoughts can have certain consequences. In psychology, this is called the boomerang effect or the principle of action and reaction . This means that something as simple as being happy on behalf of others actually affects your life.

It is an emotional reward and a form of catharsis. Think about it. For example, imagine that one of your employees is very jealous. He or she is one of those people who stares at everyone and looks dissatisfied at how well you are doing.

If you try to imitate them with this negativity, discomfort and confrontation, you will feel bad and stressed. On the contrary, wishing them well will make you relax. Accepting that everyone is “their own person” and being happy on their behalf will make you feel free and keep your mind in a good place.

The quote “Be towards others the way you want others to be towards you” could just as easily have been “Be happy on behalf of others and you will feel happy”. The fact is, designing good vibes can change your inner dialogue and open your mind to others. Make wishing others a part of your habits to improve your health and your cohesion with the world.