Three Myths About Romantic Love
We idealize each other, and romantic love is a practical way to cover up each other’s faults. Love is everywhere. Even animated films teach children that the price of overcoming adversity is perfect love.
The main problem with romantic love is that it makes men protagonists and women prizes. You may not think about it, but this always happens in movies, TV shows and other media.
Myths about romantic love
The following myths about romantic love negatively affect your relationships. They can lead you to create unrealistic and harmful expectations of the person you are with.
Soul Friends
When you watch your first Disney movie, you start to think that there is a person out there especially for you. These movies (and society in general) make you think you are destined for this person. When you see them, you both fall in love immediately. They make you believe that your relationship will be perfect, you will fit perfectly, and this person will fit perfectly into your plans. Society makes you believe that love should be faithful and exclusive, and that it does not matter if you have previous experience from relationships or not.
But isn’t relationship experience a good thing? Studies say yes. Having different relationships often helps you decide what you want and what you do not want. It also provides clues that can help you figure out what you are willing to compromise on. This does not mean that you have to have many partners. This means that it is not necessary to have just one.
2. The omnipotence of love
Most stories, movies and other media refer to the omnipotence of love. They make people believe that love can overcome any obstacle and that it makes you infinitely strong and resilient. The problem is that many people endure relationships that trample on their dignity because they believe in this idea.
Love cannot overcome everything. In fact, there is nothing more than a social construction you can reject if it is not in line with your personal or professional life. Not everyone is prepared to have a long-term relationship. Not everyone is ready or willing to have just one type of relationship.
There are couples living together. Others are completely happy with their own place, so they live in different houses. Some couples decide to overcome an obstacle together and others decide to separate teams. All of these options are equally respectable. The most important thing is that both parties are equally happy.
Opposites attract each other
We often tell children that if a classmate is bothering them, it is because they like them. This is a dangerous myth, and it goes hand in hand with the idea that opposites attract each other. This myth can affect relationships in two different ways. The first is directly related to the omnipotence of romantic love and soulmates. In this situation, both parties accept the differences, thinking that their love will overcome all obstacles.
The truth is that couples with very different beliefs will end up arguing all the time. Debate is a very important aspect of a relationship, but constant conflicts can affect unity and compatibility.
The other is quite popular in literature, film and television. It is the idea that love can change a person. You know the story: Someone (usually a woman) finds a partner who is wrong for her. But instead of looking for a more compatible partner, she does everything to make the other person change so that she can have a relationship with them.
Romantic love can not change people
The truth is that people do not change in this way. The mistake people tend to make is to love a person the way he / she will be sometime in the future, instead of loving the partner the way he or she is today. After all, it’s the person they’re in a relationship with.
Compatibility, tolerance, respect and a healthy attraction are important and can lead to a strong, lasting relationship (if that’s what you’re looking for). In the long run, trying to copy other people’s relationships will give you unrealistic expectations that will only lead to frustration.
