3 Reflections On Love By Erich Fromm
In his book On the Art of Love ( Er Art Fromm), Erich Fromm left us a great source of inspiration to reflect on love. The author could see love as an art, as a feeling that we all have the potential to experience, but that requires care to be maintained.
Erich Fromm’s reflections on love are relatively well known, and they give rise to important questions, such as: What does it mean to love? How can love be maintained? Is love fleeting?
The observations of love made by this humanist, psychologist and philosopher stand out for their enormous maturity. He observed love as an art, as the fruit of past learning. He understood that it must be cared for and that it must be cultivated so that the process of learning in love is not interrupted.
Mature love according to Erich Fromm
In this reflection, the author distinguishes between mature love and childlike love. He describes love as a need, and he talks about needing the other person as a result of love:
This principle questions how we relate to others in our society, and says that we do it more out of necessity than sharing our love with another person. Remember that sharing your feelings requires that you are in touch with them, understand them and take care of them in such a way that you do not end up looking for external ways to fulfill the needs you do not know how to fulfill yourself.
Using love to escape loneliness
When you use love to escape your own discomfort, you are doomed to destroy it. If you use this feeling as a refuge to hide from things you can not do in your life, you are just running away from yourself.
This form of love becomes pathological because you do not take care of your own personal development. Instead of listening to yourself, you expect others to be responsible for things you do not manage, but which really fall within your area of ​​responsibility.
This becomes projection, as you begin to see what you cannot tolerate in yourself in others. It is a childish way to avoid responsibility for your own existence. When you use love as a tool, as an escape from yourself, you lose the ability to love and be honest in your relationships.
The active energy of love
Love is the excess energy you have left when you meet your basic needs. Erich Fromm understood that this energy must be mobilized. It is not enough to just feel it, you must also live it, and this is only possible if you take care of it and nourish it.
Some difficulties in the relationship are inevitable, and even necessary. Some obstacles provoke negative emotions that we have to deal with. It is important to accept these feelings and understand that disturbances usually occur when things are not taken care of. Emotions are our most intimate and personal language, and they serve to help us relate to people in a more honest way.
From this reflection you can understand how important it is for two people to relate to each other from their own essence. Only by having a deep knowledge of each other will the couple be able to build a solid foundation where love can develop. Remember that it is a mistake to love just to escape yourself, because then it will not be possible for a healthy and mutual relationship to develop.
