When It’s Time To Say Goodbye To Your Children

Saying goodbye to the people you love the most is not easy, let alone when they are your children. As parents, we know that at some point they will have to leave the nest, but even though we believe we are ready to deal with this situation, after all, everything changes and our world falls apart.

It is normal to feel sad and sad when our children leave us. We have been responsible for them since they were little, we have taught them almost everything we could about life, and we have been there to help and support them when they need it. But this is going to change. Now they will create their own lives and become independent.

Many parents refuse to accept this reality, and this leads to serious conflicts with their children. Although it is difficult to say goodbye to them, parents must understand that this freedom is good for them and is part of the life cycle. When this understanding is not present, we are faced with the empty nest syndrome.

When it hurts to say goodbye

Empty nest syndrome is a feeling of sadness and loneliness. The parents are unable to cope with the child leaving, and anxiety begins to appear in their lives. No matter how much they thought they were prepared for this moment, they were not. Many refuse to accept this reality in their inner world.

Today, this situation has been magnified. Young people spend more time leaving the nest and some never do. The financial situation or the comfort of continuing to live with their parents means that the parents do not feel compelled to prepare for a future separation and believe that their children will be with them forever.

It is true that if you have more than one child, this may not be so difficult. One wants to travel, while another can stay. On the other hand, if you have only one descendant, their departure will be more painful. It’s your only child, and you will not lose them. Even if they only go on vacation far away for a long time, it already gives you a certain level of fear.

The strength of the bonds in the relationship with the parents also has an impact. For example, in the case of a single mother who has had to raise the child alone, the bond is probably much more dependent than if the situation had been different. In this case, the mother has placed great emphasis on the child and can not imagine life without them.

Becoming independent is not a loss

It is difficult to overcome this situation when parents see it so dramatically. For them, the fact that the children will leave the nest, that they will lose them, but they can not make more mistakes. They just have to build their own lives just like their parents did. They want to create their own family, but they still want to be there.

Of course, traveling and living in another country is not the same as living in a house near your parents. Despite this, many parents feel that if their children are not at home, then they have lost them forever. Therefore, it is important to change the view we have of thinking that the act of saying goodbye is synonymous with loss.

If you are in a couple, it will be much easier to overcome this situation. You can take advantage of the opportunity to travel, focus on your relationship again, and live experiences you have not been able to until now. Many parents forget to take care of their relationships because they focus too much on their children. This can be changed now.

If you are alone and have leaned too much on your child, do not cut their wings or make them feel guilty about leaving home. Go out with your friends, talk to others, enjoy life, travel, meet new people, but let the child live his life. Remember that you did this in your time as well, and that it is not okay for you to set up obstacles for the person you love the most.

Circumstances vary widely, but we should never try to keep our children at home. If they want to become independent, do not try to block or make them feel bad. It is not fair to you or to them, and their relationship may deteriorate because of it.

Saying goodbye is difficult, but it is one of the laws of life. Sooner or later we will all fly to experience new experiences, grow and in some cases form our own family. Saying goodbye is not a synonym for loss or being abandoned, it does not even mean loneliness. To say goodbye is to move on, change, transform and mature.