Missing One Train Does Not Mean You Have To Miss The Rest

How often have you thought about what you missed? The train that passed you? Some talk about the past, the person they loved and who they let go of, the job they could not get, or the trip they could have gone on, but did not. Our stories are crucial to our present. We build our faith and our worldview around them.

Things that happen in our lives shape who we are and what we are as human beings. And the responsibility for what happens to us is almost always our own. After all, we go through life by making choices. At work, at home, with friends… Why not take a moment right now to think about how many decisions you make each day?

We constantly choose between options. When we have gained some life experience,  we can clearly remember times when it seemed as if the world stopped when we decided to say yes or no to something.

After you “miss” the train

The dice are rolled, and when things go wrong there are many ways you can react. You can point your finger outward or inward, or blame karma or bad luck.

“I said no because you said I was going to,” “I did not go to the interview because you made me lose my confidence,” “I was not brave enough…”   So you enter a mental circle, where you become stuck in a place where all you do is complain about the opportunities you missed. 

After you miss an opportunity, the next step is to take responsibility for your decision. Analyze things and deal with the negative emotions that come from the choice you made. The people around you can give their opinions and tell you what they think about it. Remember that they have the right to tell you their opinion, if you ask them to, but not to judge you.

The most important thing is to look at where you are now and to focus on it. If you only see the train going far away on the horizon, you will feel things from the past and you cannot change them. This is how you will end up filling your present with negatively charged emotions, such as sadness.

But the worst part about focusing on things you can’t change is not your emotions. The worst part is that  when you are stuck there, you can not see the new opportunities that are as good or better than the ones you missed. 

Is it just a possibility?

If you are an unstable, indecisive person, you will think too much about these important moments. If everything around you depends on your response to something, your thoughts will fly and your emotions will take over. But  you can take control of reality and reorient yourself with wisdom. Look at these inspiring, showcases from pop culture.

• “You create your opportunities by asking for them.” Shakti Gawain.
• “To succeed, jump on opportunities as quickly as you do to conclusions.”  Benjamin Franklin.
• “Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you will miss them. ” William Arthur Ward.
• “Difficulties mastered, opportunities are won.”   Winston Churchill.

There is something that all of these have in common. They all talk about opportunities as a majority. 

But on the other hand, the world has told you at one point that you only get one opportunity for a few things. Maybe someone told you that to force you to make a choice. But be careful. This social pressure can paralyze you and block you when it comes to making a decision.

Your great opportunity may be right where you are right now

Napoleon Hill  wrote these words. He was one of the first self-help writers. This idea, even if it does not work for all or all situations, is still a good starting point. Missing a train – an opportunity – is not the end of the world. But it will be a long wait if you just stand there and watch the trains leave instead of looking for those coming. 

Even with an opportunity you missed, you still have:

• The options you have considered.
• The advice you have listened to.
• The value you give to your own decision.
• The ability to take responsibility for your actions.
• The ability to rebuild yourself after a feeling of emptiness and that you have missed something.
• The lesson you learned.
• The opportunity to look forward to what you will do in a similar situation in the future.

We all miss trains. Sometimes it’s because you choose another, or because you’re distracted and not getting there in time. Or it’s because you stumble when you go on board, or because you fell asleep when it went early in the morning.

But remember: the most important thing is not the train that goes, it is  what stays with you when the train is gone, and what you do with it afterwards.